I got up and went into the bathroom. I opened the cupboard under the sink and rummaged around for the package I’d previously hidden. I pulled out the box and read the directions. They seemed simple enough—pee on the stick and then wait.
I opened the package, took out the stick, and did my business. Two pink lines immediately popped up. Grabbing the box again, I started reading.
One pink line—not pregnant. Two pink lines—welcome to motherhood. I stood there starting at the stick. Impossible. I could not be pregnant. How could this happen? I couldn’t be a Mom—I wasn’t ready. I still needed to be “Mommed”. And, besides, I was certainly too stupid to be someone else’s Mom. I don’t know how long I stood there starting at the stick, but when I exited the bathroom I knew I had to tell David right away.
I crept back into the bedroom. He was sound asleep in the bed. He was laying on his belly, arms wrapped around the pillow. I could only see one half of his face.
“Ummm…honey….David….” A low grunt came from the sleeping man. “Ummm…honey…I have something I need to tell you.” No reply from the sleeper. “Ummm…honey…I think you are going to be a Dad.” One eyeball immediately popped open and was simultaneously the size of one of the coffee saucers we received as a wedding gift. He rolled over. “What? How could that have happened? Are you sure?” “No. I’m not sure,” I said. “I bought a pregnancy test and just took it. It came up positive. I don’t know what that means, ” I croaked. “Maybe we should call the doctor,” he said.
I dialed the number. They patched me through to the nurse. “Congratulations!” she said. “Ummm…maybe I should come in for a test.” “You can if you want, but the home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate. If it says you’re pregnant, I’m about 99% sure you are,” she replied. “How could this happen?” I asked her. She laughed. “You’ve been married for how long? Do I need to tell you about the birds and the bees NOW?”
I spoke with the nurse some more, asked her more questions, and then we set up an appointment. I wanted/needed confirmation from the doctor’s own lips about my “pending/new” status. And, I needed help. I didn’t know how to be a mother, or what to expect. 
At the doctors office, we looked around the waiting room—lots of round-bellied women were there, and even a few new moms with a new junior peanut in tow. I looked at David. “What if I am pregnant? Then what? What are we going to do with a baby?” In a very calm manner, he scanned the waiting room, then turned to me and said, “We’ll lay it on its back.” We laughed, but inside I’m thinking…”Oh no…we are doomed.”
My name was called and we headed toward the patient rooms. Toni, the nurse, handed me a now familiar device—the urine sample cup. She gave me essentially the same instructions as the box at home . “Pee,” she said, and left me to the bathroom.
While waiting for the official results, I started dreaming, wondering and falling in love with the idea of a baby coming into our lives. Unexpected? Sure. Prepared? Not at all. A blessing? You bet. We always knew we wanted to be parents we just kept pushing it off as we wanted to be “ready”. (Are you ever really ready for a baby?)
The doctor came into the room with a big smile on his face. “Congratulations. You ARE pregnant. There is no doubt.”
And, from that moment, in March 2000, motherhood became a welcome (yet scary) reality.
****************************************
Read More ~
Celebrate February with Love Letters